During family dinner my son asks me if he can marry me. I explain that he’s already my family and people get married so they can make people that aren’t their family into family. Him and my boyfriends daughter acknowledged that they understood. So I took another bite of the delicious dinner my boyfriend made us. While I was chewing my boyfriends daughter asks if her dad (my boyfriend) and I are going to get married. I choked and coughed. My boyfriends response was, “Would you like us to get married?” Both of the children feverishly agreed. I choked again. I looked at him. He smiled back. That’s the end of that topic, for now.
Tag: daughter
Camping-In.
Last night I decided to have family time. We get such few fleeting moments together I wanted to make the most of it. So we got the sleeping bags, turned the televisions off, put our phones down, and lit some candles. We got all of our blankets and pillows. The four of us had a camp-in in our living room. We would have hitched the tent but it was raining outside. My boyfriend sang camp songs rather well. His daughter sweetly sang You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine. We demanded an encore. And then we told stories. We told stories about princesses, queens falling in love with Knights (tall, blue-eyed, manly Knight Daddy), dragons, puppies, baby turtles, and dinosaurs eating a girl named Suzanne (totally my sons idea). Although I am incredibly sore from sleeping on the floor almost the entire night, those moments were priceless. The kids migrated to me and they both fell asleep in my arms. My boyfriend woke me up around five in the morning to cuddle on the couch with him. The couch was still not as comfortable as the bed. I can’t wait to go camping with the kids. Quality time is better than quantities of time. I cherish these moments. I am a family woman. And I can’t wait to one day have more kids.
Paternal Figures.
I am fortunate enough to have a lot of father figures in my life. Today’s as well as every other day we should be giving them more credit for what they do.
Grandpa.
He’s no longer with us but damn he was a hell of a man. One of the greatest fathers of all time. He had five children, two boys and three girls. He worked as a school bus driver and custodian while his children were in school. Once the youngest (my father) was of working age my grandpa started his own painting/carpentry business. His two sons learned to call him “Boss.” He chose to be there for his children no matter what and by any means be a presence in their lives. He was the same was with his grandkids. We spent our entire summers with him after he retired. He would take us on walks, teach us how to garden, read to us, take us swimming at the local pool, take us to church or running errands. He was a true old-fashion family man. To this day I admire that man. He’s everything I aspire to be. He was so goofy and he loved making people laugh. He was a great man and the best father figure. I love you, to the moon and back.
Dad.
I couldn’t even begin to explain the bond I share with my father. I am the epitome of a daddy’s girl. We have VERY similar personalities, passed down to us by my oh so goofy grandpa. Goofy is genetically encoded. He called me Cookie my entire childhood. Nowadays he just calls me Cook. Raised me and my two sisters as a single father, never remarried after my mother. He is the type to help anyone in need. He has the purest heart. Every father should be exactly like my dad. He taught me so much. Because of him I have a soft spot for single dads. He loved my sisters and myself as individuals but equally. He was always fair and just. He never judged anyone for anything. He was the voice of reason throughout my life. My confidant and best friend. I value him more than he’ll ever know. He’s never led me astray or made me doubt his love for me. He’s an honest man of integrity. The world would be a better place with more people like him in it. I love you dad.
Boyfriend.
Where do I begin? First of all, you would do anything for the mother of your child. When she needs you, you’re there. You defend her honor and display undying loyalty. I absolutely adore that about you. I love baby mama, her and I are blessed to get along so well. I think she can tell I’m genuine and knows I get it having had a child of my own. She can see how much I love your child together and that I would do anything for her. Anything from all the times I’ve picked her up from school to the times I wipe the tears from her cheeks. That girl is so lucky to grow up surrounded by so much love. But you, my dear, are absolutely astonishing. You not only live your daughter to pieces but you treat my son as if he is your own. You take on so much responsibility with the kids that I no longer feel like I’m doing it alone, for the first time in forever. You teach them so much, from catching their first fish to riding a bike. They adore you and always reach out to hold your hand. I couldn’t ask for a better teammate and father figure for my son. I never expected anything from you, but you’ve done more than anyone else ever has. I respect you and love you so much darling.
Step Dad.
We may have not always seen eye to eye but you had my back. We were very different, in personality and beliefs but we have had some amazing times. You never wanted to see me hurt and always comforted me during hard times. We didn’t have the best relationship but it’s because you never raised daughters, so everything was new to you and you weren’t what we were used to either. I still hope you know that I love all the time I spend with you and mom. I will always be here for you.
Ex-Husband.
I may not understand it but I know you somehow love our son. You love him in your own way. He still doesn’t get to see you as much but I tell him you love him everyday. He’s very confused about it still but I try to explain in a way he will understand. You just love him differently. You aren’t a horrible dad, you never really had an example as to how to parent. I remember teaching you how to tie a Windsor knot, something a father ought to teach his son. You know our sons in good hands and I’m completely capable. Your name will never be slandered in this house because you are a part of him. Just try your best and that’s good enough. After healing and looking at the situation rationally I totally understand. No pressure but I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day.
Vehicles.
I have a horrible track record with cars. Tires blowing, accidents, and anything else that could possibly go wrong. Well this morning 30 minutes into my 40 minute drive to work my car overheats. This is the first time I’ve ever been stuck on the side of the highway. It could be low on coolant or oil. Possibly an oil or coolant leak. I’m hoping there’s not anything horribly wrong. I had to hire a tow truck which is another first for me. My dad came to my rescue. I love that man. We had a long talk about cars and life while he took the time out of his day to drive me back home. He told me he felt honored that I called him for help instead of the inconvenience that it really was. He told me that any time he was in trouble especially with vehicles he would call his dad. My grandpa was a one of a kind man too. Those two men mean the world to me. They really have no idea how much I adore and cherish them. They are my role models and my idols. I don’t know much about cars but I’ve learned a lot about life from them.
Two Long Days.
Just two more days until I’m no longer married to the man who put me through hell. Time is slowing down. I will cry some of my happiest tears to go back to my maiden name. To be rid of my connections to him will be a blessing. He was a long lesson. I’m finally in love with the Man I belong. I finally feel like part of a family not a battle field. I never get disappointed anymore, I’m not constantly stressed, not paranoid about getting cheated on or left. I found stability in a storm. I don’t ever get ignored or abandoned. I get more calls than texts now. I’m still in awe over everything I was missing out on. Ladies & gentlemen, life’s too short for shitty relationships. Find someone stable, someone who brings as much as you do to the table. Someone who loves just the way you do. Do not settle for lies, manipulations, or guilt trips. Don’t settle with someone who lessens your potential or makes you feel unworthy. You deserve love. You deserve a person who reflects you in the most stunning way. You deserve someone who stands up for what they believe and you just so happen to be who they believe in. You deserve someone who will stop you doing whatever it is you’re doing and take a moment to hold you or slow dance with you. You deserve someone who makes you laugh and never wants to see you cry. And I’m telling you it’s possible, they’re out there. Life has an uncanny way of bringing them to you when you least expect and when you need them most. You are better than those who tried to cheat you out of the life you wanted for yourself. Don’t let their opinions or what they did hold you back or make you feel like less of a man or woman. What they did or do says more about their character than yours. In this big fucking catastrophe, I left the anchor that was holding me back and gained an angel who lifts me with his wings. The differences between the two was a huge eye opener for someone who used to think all men were the same. He watched me suffer a blistering pain and drew me away from the fire that burned me. My saving grace. I would have been burned alive had he not taken a leap of faith with me. He saw something in me I did not even see in myself. I’m more myself now than I’ve been my whole life. I owe it all to him. One thing that has been a huge adjustment is being with a man who takes a very active role in his child’s life. My ex was not father of the year by any means. He still doesn’t hardly see his son or contribute in any way. My boyfriend loves and cherishes his daughter. She’s his “mini-me.” He pays his child support every month and helps her mother out any way possible. He faught for joint custody and got it. He actually cares and is such a family man. My ex is too caught up in the young and single life to pay much mind to his five year old son. It’s a harsh reality but I am glad my son has a positive male role model in his life. But to wrap it up, I cannot wait until Monday afternoon, I love my family and cherish their support. This has been the most rewarding struggle of my life.
Going from ONE to TWO children.
My boyfriend and I are madly in love. It’s been seven months. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. We both came with children and different parenting techniques. I have a five year old son and he has a three year old daughter. I underestimated the level of difficulty. They already behave like siblings; getting into trouble together, fighting like cats and dogs, tattling, and being adorable and melting hearts together. It’s definitely a lot harder to maintain the peace around here. They both have such different personalities. My son is very much like his aunt, my eldest sister: a know-it-all. My boyfriends daughter however is the drama queen. My son tries to boss her around and so she flips out. That’s pretty much their dynamic. They both suffer from first-borne syndrome and only-child syndrome. But this was a huge change for each of them. And we love them to death. They bring so much light into our worlds. It’s an adjustment for everyone but I’m so glad to add them to my family and I’m honored that they allowed me to be a part of theirs.
The Mad Mind of Coraline 