Marked Forever.

Tattoos are a huge passion of mine. I have quite a few. Each and every one of my tattoos holds huge significance to me. So here’s the meaning behind the ink. 

“Deus scit etiam angelis casus.” 

I have this Latin quote on the inside arch of my left foot. The font is stunning in all black ink. This quote means, ‘God knows even Angels fall.’ This is my reminder to not expect people to be anything but human. Nobody’s perfect. And I should forgive those who have fallen. 

Foot Print. 

On the inside of my left ankle I have my sons footprint at birth tattooed in blue and green ink along with his name. He still to this day compares his foot to the tattooed one and my heart melts. He has grown so much. 

Sugar Skull. 

On the outside of my left calf I have a sugar skull. It is decorated with ribbon and surrounded by orchids. Orchids are my favorite flower and I plan on getting more. The color scheme is magenta, purple, and lime green. I got it on Dia de Los Muertos. It is a celebration of the lives of the loved ones I have lost. To celebrate the honor of having had the chance to know them and love them. Rest in peace. 

Lone Wolf. 

I have a watercolor style all black ink wolf tattooed on the anterior portion of my right thigh. This piece is not done. It will be completed when I have a wreath of succulents and raspberries around it with my grandpas name, birth, and death date. The piece will be extended to the posterior portion of my thigh for my grandma, may they always be so close. 

Dragon. 

I have a dragon on my left hip. My very first tattoo at age seventeen. I got that tattoo shortly after my Aunt killed herself. In memory of her and all the passions that we shared. She loved dragons as much as I do. She was a middle child just like myself. We shared many aspects in common. I miss her everyday. 

Backbone of an Egyptian. 

I have hieroglyphs tattooed down my spine. The top is a sun with the eye of Horus inside it. This is a symbol of protection, power, and good health. The sun comes equipped with two Cobras and wings. A representation of ruling over lower Egypt. Below my snake sun, is the head of the God of the underworld, Anubis, the jackal headed God. Below Anubis, is a lotus which along with the scarab I have, represents rebirth and reincarnation. A new/fresh start, beginning again. I also have the goddess Isis tattooed with her wings up in a circular fashion. She represents the very essence of femininity. The ultimate woman, mother, and nurturer. The love of her life was her God King, Osiris.the very bottom of my spine is the Ankh, a symbol of eternal life. 

Pink Flower. 

In the spot where my mother got her first tattoo, the insicion site where they removed her breast cancer tumor is my next tattoo. It resembles hers and is dedicated to her battle and victory against breast cancer. 

Polynesian Tribal. 

My longest tattoo session, at 6 hours, was my quarter sleeve Polynesian tribal. I got it during my most recent vacation to Maui. I love Hawaii and the people of Hawaii. I am an honorary Samoan woman. I’ve adopted their culture as my own. It is a culture of such beauty and nature. My hearts in Maui. Aloha Au La ‘Oe. 

June 18, 2015June 18, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: UncategorizedTags: black, breast cancer, dragon, egypt, egyptian, fight, flower, foot, forever, goddess, hawaii, ink, inked, lone, lotus, marked, maui, memory, orchid, pink, polynesian, print, quote, samoan, scarab, skull, sugar, survive, tattoo, tattoos, tribal, wolf Leave a comment

You don’t have to.

I don’t understand why you put in so much effort. You go above and beyond. You bend until you break. And I could tell you this a million times but I’m not sure if you’ll ever listen. 

You don’t have to. 

You’re not alone. Not anymore. You buy me flowers. Take me out on dates. Apologize for not texting back right away. You cook me dinner. You spoil me rotten. As adorable as that is and as wanted as that makes me feel, 

You don’t have to. 

You hold me every night and you take away the pain. You build me up and you show me off. You make me laugh until I cry. You would do anything to make me smile. And I’ll say it again. 

You don’t have to. 

I love you without all the additional things. I love your flaws and your perfections, your sensitivities and your strengths, your insides and out. I love everything about you. And you know that; 

You don’t have to. 

But you do for me anyway. Because you care so much. Because you love me just as much as I love you. And this much is true; 

I don’t have to. But I’d do anything for you. 

May 21, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: Feverish Passion, Life, Love Life & RomanceTags: above, always, anything, beautiful, beauty, bend, beyond, bond, bonded, break, build, buy, charm, cook, date, dates, devoted, dream, fight, flaw, flaws, flowers, for, good, grow, happy, i, imperfect, laugh, life, light, live, lives, love, lovers, loves, me, perfect, play, quality, romance, romantic, sincere, smile, spend, strength, strong, time, to, together, true, truth, we, wish, you Leave a comment

Neighbors.

Well the folks accross the street got into a shouting match today. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I live in a neighborhood full of elder people so for the most part it’s pretty peaceful. Except for us noisy hooligan youngsters that live here. Hahaha, we typically don’t make a peep. Typically meaning only during our amorous hours. I’m sure we piss our neighbors off sometimes though. That’s the problem with inner city living. We know each others personal business. This particular fight the woman shouted, “I’m not helping you with crap anymore” and stormed inside the house while the gentleman punched the siding. They knew my son and I were outside playing but it was quite the scene. Initially it made me feel bad to see a couple in turmoil. But I quickly reminded myself they have been married for many years and knew how to patch things up. I admire them for their dedication. It also made me appreciate my own relationship. For a young couple experiencing the struggle of achieving our dream career and our goals we rarely fight. We get stressed out together but seldom take it out on one another. We haven’t broken up or left the vicinity of one another out of anger or grief. We stick with each other talk and work it out together. We debate and we agree to disagree and go on loving each other to the fullest. We do not play childish games like the cold shoulder, we never withhold love from another and we give our undivided attention. I couldn’t be happier with the partnership we share or the teamwork we divulge. Both of us faught with our previous significant others like cats and dogs. We both put in more effort to fix it than them as well. That’s why we work. Every day we put in equal effort. Our love has equilibrium. We are two very different people that decided never to give up on one another. Moral of the story: every life event has a lesson in it. Whether it’s personal or a neighbor. 

May 16, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: Feverish Passion, Life, Love Life & Romance, Self WorthTags: amorous, argue, build, cherish, destiny, different, enamored, equal, fair, fate, fight, good, grow, learn, life, live, love, neighbor, new, personal, relationship, right Leave a comment

Bucket List.

So much to do and definitely not enough time on this earth. Fortunately I’ve already crossed a few things off from my bucket list. I’ve been to Hawaii, swam with sea turtles and a manta ray, went snorkeling, been to Universal Studios and Disney, watched Humpback Whales breach water and swim with their young, been to Texas, stood on the bridge from the movie Selena, been to the Alamo, been to Mammoth Caves in Kentuckey, been to Makers Mark Distillery and hand dipped in wax my own whiskey bottle, been to the Grand Old Opry, been to the Mall of America, been to San Fransisco and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, and been to Mt Hood in Oregon. I’ve done a lot of traveling for someone so young. I’ve experienced many different things and feel so blessed to have seen what I have. I swam in the Pacific, Atlantic, and Gulf before I was 16. I owned my own home at age 23. I’ve lived a lot. I have a lot left I want to experience before my time expires. I would love to learn how to hula dance and belly dance. I want to learn how to blow glass from a professional. I’d love to travel the world and have my own lengthy list of place to see and cultures to experience. I want to walk the Great Wall of China and ride an elephant in India. I want to go on an African Safari and see all of Egypt. I want to see the Abydos Kings List, the pyramids at Giza, the temple/tomb of Nefertari. I want to watch the waters of the Nile flow. I want to see all of Australia and swim by the Great Barrier Reef. This list could go on forever. I would like to write and publish at least one novel, My Grandpas biography. I want to tattoo most of my body by famous tattoo artists including Kat Von D and Sara Fabel. I want to master MMA and boxing/kick boxing. Id like to be with my man when his music takes off and becomes international. Id like him to be by my side through all of my bucket list including our own little private version of a bucket list (wink, wink). I want to experience it all. I want to float in the Dead Sea. Id like to visit Santorini Greece. I want to get paid to model for a tattoo magazine. I want to get my cosmetology license. Id like to have numerous degrees from different universities. Id like to learn how to fly a plane. I want to go on a mission trip and practice medicine in a third world country. I’m very ambitious and this could go on forever. I just want to truly live. To experience all this world has to offer. I have a passion for life. 

May 12, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: Grievance, Life, Self WorthTags: africa, ambition, america, australia, beautiful, beauty, before, behold, believe, bellydance, big, blow, bold, box, bucket, bucketlist, build, challenge, china, create, dance, day, days, die, do, dream, egypt, elephant, experience, expire, fight, free, freedom, future, glass, hawaii, i, inspiration, inspire, learn, life, list, live, love, make, man, me, medicine, must, myself, nights, ocean, original, plane, play, pure, right, see, side, swim, travel, true, wall, whale, work Leave a comment

Eyes Wide Open.

There are pivotal moments in your life when someone’s true colors begin to show. You step outside of any emotions and you can see them for exactly who they are. Love most certainly makes you blind. Trust me, I’m divorced. Nothing brings out true colors quite like divorce. I thought the sun shines out my exs ass at one point in time. Turns out he’s a liar, a fake, a cheat, and most of all a coward. Thought he was a decent dad, turns out he’s a deadbeat. Every time I see him my body is filled with disgust and pity. My son deserves so much better. I’m giving him so much better. After ten years of walking around blind my eyes are wide open. Ten years of not truly knowing someone yet loving them. I’m wiser now. I know everything I do not want in my life. My ex is that very definition. Fortunately I found his polar opposite. And I’m madly in love. If I ever heal from this nightmare relationship of the past I could see myself marrying my boyfriend. He’s everything I never knew I needed. 

 

April 8, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: Grievance, Parenting & Children, Single MomTags: beautiful, beginning, change, cherish, color, colors, coward, deserve, disgust, divorce, emotion, emotional, ex, eye, eyes, father, fight, happy, heart, life, love, marriage, new, open, pursuit, son, true, wide Leave a comment

Two Long Days.

Just two more days until I’m no longer married to the man who put me through hell. Time is slowing down. I will cry some of my happiest tears to go back to my maiden name. To be rid of my connections to him will be a blessing. He was a long lesson. I’m finally in love with the Man I belong. I finally feel like part of a family not a battle field. I never get disappointed anymore, I’m not constantly stressed,  not paranoid about getting cheated on or left. I found stability in a storm. I don’t ever get ignored or abandoned. I get more calls than texts now. I’m still in awe over everything I was missing out on. Ladies & gentlemen, life’s too short for shitty relationships. Find someone stable, someone who brings as much as you do to the table. Someone who loves just the way you do. Do not settle for lies, manipulations, or guilt trips. Don’t settle with someone who lessens your potential or makes you feel unworthy. You deserve love. You deserve a person who reflects you in the most stunning way. You deserve someone who stands up for what they believe and you just so happen to be who they believe in. You deserve someone who will stop you doing whatever it is you’re doing and take a moment to hold you or slow dance with you. You deserve someone who makes you laugh and never wants to see you cry. And I’m telling you it’s possible, they’re out there. Life has an uncanny way of bringing them to you when you least expect and when you need them most. You are better than those who tried to cheat you out of the life you wanted for yourself. Don’t let their opinions or what they did hold you back or make you feel like less of a man or woman. What they did or do says more about their character than yours. In this big fucking catastrophe, I left the anchor that was holding me back and gained an angel who lifts me with his wings. The differences between the two was a huge eye opener for someone who used to think all men were the same. He watched me suffer a blistering pain and drew me away from the fire that burned me. My saving grace. I would have been burned alive had he not taken a leap of faith with me. He saw something in me I did not even see in myself. I’m more myself now than I’ve been my whole life. I owe it all to him. One thing that has been a huge adjustment is being with a man who takes a very active role in his child’s life. My ex was not father of the year by any means. He still doesn’t hardly see his son or contribute in any way. My boyfriend loves and cherishes his daughter. She’s his “mini-me.” He pays his child support every month and helps her mother out any way possible. He faught for joint custody and got it. He actually cares and is such a family man. My ex is too caught up in the young and single life to pay much mind to his five year old son. It’s a harsh reality but I am glad my son has a positive male role model in his life. But to wrap it up, I cannot wait until Monday afternoon, I love my family and cherish their support. This has been the most rewarding struggle of my life. 

February 28, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: GrievanceTags: affair, agony, alpha, alter, and, angel, babydaddy, bad, battle, beat, beginning, believe, better, blessing, burn, change, cheat, cheater, cherish, dad, daughter, day, dead, divorce, drama, end, faith, fight, fire, gift, god, good, grow, growth, health, honesty, honewrecker, hope, integrity, laugh, life, live, love, marriage, married, men, new, night, omega, real, relationship, relationships, savior, separation, sick, smile, son, trust, try, war, win, wise, women, worse, young Leave a comment

Relationships.

Today in my class we discussed building relationships with clients/patients. We all start off as strangers. We build the relationship from the ground up. It made me think. I really want to be the type of person people are comfortable to talk with and I want to make others feel good. I want a sort of openness and I want people to know I am trustworthy. How do we go about initiating communication? How does it all start? Whether the relationship is with a colleague or it is romantic. Ice breakers? I want people to be excited to have me as their nurse. I want to be excited to go to work everyday and meet knew people. I want to make it hard for the people that dislike me not to love me. People won’t remember what you said, they’ll remember how you made them feel. I want to improve lives. I want to move and inspire people, no recognition necessary. I have an undeniable urge to impact the world and make it a better place.

February 26, 2015May 28, 2015 by diarou326 Categories: Love Life & RomanceTags: bright, communicate, faith, fight, full, future, glory, good, grow, happy, honest, inspire, kind, life, live, love, loving, motivation, new, open, relationships, self, trust, try, uplifting, worth Leave a comment